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| Thank-you note: win! Penmanship: total loss. ;) |
I, for one, have lost a bunch. But after two decades of parenting (wait--not possible), here are a few wins that I can note. And to me, they are wins that are totally worth the battle.
1. Teach your kids to write thank-you notes. We use the basic format: 1) Thank you for the specific item. 2) I will use it in this way. 3) Thank you again. After asking (okay, forcing) the older child (and eventually the younger child) to write thank-you notes for the last, oh, fifteen years, I finally see the payoff. He has learned to be brief, witty, and sincerely grateful in the space of a note card--a tool that better equips any man for life.
1b. Teach them how to address an envelope. You'd be surprised. And that's all I'm gonna say about that.
2. Eat dinner together, around the table, as often as humanly possible. So many important conversations have casually spilled out over the dinner table--when we're not competing with the television or tech devices. And do I even have to mention the money we've saved and sodium we've avoided by eating home-cooked food? (And the gratitude we've learned for burnt, under-seasoned, disastrous food . . . but I digress.)
3. Teach your kids to do laundry, even--no, especially--the boys. Several years ago, when I had to teach a twenty-something-year-old man how to work his washing machine, I vowed to send my boys into the world with a working knowledge of the laundry room. I'm not saying they're gonna like it, but they're sure gonna learn how to use it.
4. Teach your kids basic hospitality. There's really one rule: the guest comes first. We've had to have this discussion after debates at sleepovers over which movie we're watching or who gets to ride which bike. The guest comes first, period. Not fair? Well, you can just hope the sentiment is reciprocated when it's your turn to visit his home.
5. Record it all. Be the obnoxious, photo-crazed parent. Take all the photos. (Hear all the groans.) Write it all down. You will absolutely cherish every letter, every pixel (or else, in my case, sometimes regret the lack of them).
6. Embarrass them with love. Hug them. In public. Tell them you love them. Out loud. In front of their friends. Don't make them forever regret pushing you away--and being successful at it.
7. Show them a daily relationship with God. Pray with them, every day about everything, big and small, math tests and tragedies alike. Read daily devotionals. Show them an unforgettable, invincible, unshakable place to turn to when you're no longer around to parent them.
Yep, out of two decades, those are my seven wins (and really, they're ongoing battles). I do realize that I veered recklessly from thank-you notes to faith. But isn't that the scope of parenting? Every day, right here in our homes, we are tackling the ordinary and extraordinary, giving vitamins and and growing leaders, changing underwear and changing the world.
Don't ever take it for granted. Their very lives depend on it. It is as simple and serious as that.
1 comment:
Hooray for thank you notes! Hooray even more for praying with our kids. They need to know that it's the go to in life, that this is what we do when we're scared, nervous, excited, worried, excited, relieved, victorious, or downtrodden-we pray. All the time. And when we make this an everyday part of our family's lives, it will naturally become our children's go-to as well. PS - you're an awesome mom!
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