Today's post is from my dear friend and fearless writer, Laura Smith. Her fiction is raw, relevant, and real, tackling tough issues for teen and college-age girls. (I talk about why she writes what she writes here.) But more importantly, she is a wise counselor, an unconditional friend, a faithful cheerleader, and the sweetest soul. Get to know her; you'll be the better for it. OH, and as a bonus, if you comment below, you'll be entered to win a signed copy of It's Addicting for yourself or someone you love.
What are your little addictions?
Mine include:
- Starbucks
- Music
- Nail polish (no chips please, different colors
on toes and fingers)
- Exercise (I don’t care with who, or what or
when, but I crave it.)
- My phone
Maybe yours are:
- Nachos
- Getting all As
- Your job
- A sport/instrument/club/activity
- Instagram
- Your bestie
- A TV show
- A relationship
- Chocolate
Our lists could go on and on with the fun little interests,
innocent cravings, and even important responsibilities and relationships we’re
“addicted” to. But how do you know when a passion or interest becomes an “addiction”?
When do these things that fill our minds and hours become modern-day idols?
When we over-desire them.
See, it’s not wanting them that’s the problem. God created
coffee beans and cocoa beans and the guy you have a crush on (yup, husbands
count too). He created your brain and your body and wants you to use them to
glorify Him.
But when our little addictions create tension
with our family, our wallet, our values, our faith, when our innocent little craving becomes more important than God, when we OVER-DESIRE it, we’ve got a problem.
How so?
I often plot out my morning to include a stop by my local
Starbucks. I love my coffee. I get excited every morning when the aromatic
smell wafts towards my nose, when the bold, rich flavor hits my tongue. And
this is okay. God wants us to have pleasure, to enjoy this world and this life.
He gave me taste buds that are receptive to the flavor of an iced venti with
mocha and nonfat milk. But when I skip my quiet time with Him in the morning to
make sure I get a coffee, when I’m late getting my kids to school or I show up
late to a meeting, because I “needed” a coffee, this is a problem.
Do you have a friend you adore? Someone who makes you laugh
and truly gets you? It’s great to spend time with them, to text them throughout
the day about funny things, things you’re stressed about, or to plan weekend adventures together. But when you lie to someone who’s close to you so that you
can go somewhere with that friend or to cover up for that friend, there’s a
problem.
See the pattern?
So how do we rein in our addictions? How do we keep our
pleasant little everyday desires from becoming something we obsess over?
First, we can ask ourselves if we are seeking affirmation from
these things we adore. Because we do sometimes, don’t we? We seek affirmation
from the coolest nail art to the fastest time on the 10K to the most followers
on Twitter. We do.
But our entire identity, all of our affirmation, should come from
Christ who created us.
That means we will not compare ourselves with
each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more
interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.
Gal 5:26MSG
Once we wrap our arms around this truth, we need to turn it
over to Him in prayer.
When I have a morning where my Starbucks craving will stretch my wallet,
make me late, or cause unnecessary stress, I can say, “Jesus, You are the only thing that truly satisfies me.
Please let me drink You in this day, and feel You working in and through me.
Let me taste Your goodness. Amen.” And then I can brew myself a cup in my
Keurig and be thankful.
When your friend wants you to do something that compromises
your values--whether that’s gossiping or drinking or blowing off an
assignment--and you’re craving their acceptance, pray something like this,
“Please Jesus, I long for companionship, for love. I know that You are my
constant companion, that You love me always. Please remind me of that love.
Please fill me up with it. Let me realize it is better and fuller and more
satisfying than any earthly relationship.”
And then turn to the ultimate truth of your Bible (better yet, memorize a few verses) that
will remind you of these things: that Jesus is enough, that in fact He’s
everything we need. That we should crave Him, long for Him, seek Him and seek
to please Him, and we will be valued and loved and treasured.
Here are some that help me:
- For you formed my
inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you,
for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:13-14 ESV)
- God not only loves you
very much but also has put His hand on you for something special. (1 Thessalonians 1:4 MSG)
- It matters very little
to me what you think of me, even less where I rank in popular opinion. I don’t
even rank myself. Comparisons in these matters are pointless. (1 Corinthians 4:3 MSG)
- For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery. (Galatians 5:1 ESV)
But sometimes it's more helpful to see these principles in action. Kat, Claire, Hannah, and Palmer--the characters you'll meet in my new novel, It’s Addicting--encounter their own types of addictions, fun little things that seem innocent
enough. And I hope that as you read about them, you'll learn, as they do, how to overcome your over-desires by putting some of these principles to work.
How about you? What innocent cravings sometimes take
over your life?